


Through the darkness, I can see your light

by silentsaebyeok



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Gen, im sorry, it's really sad, this is basically just Ezra and Hera's thoughts after Kanan's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 15:44:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18013682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentsaebyeok/pseuds/silentsaebyeok
Summary: Ezra and Hera mourn in the immediate aftermath of Kanan's death. My contribution to the fandom event #rebelsremembered.





	Through the darkness, I can see your light

**Author's Note:**

> The following little fic is my contribution to #rebelsremembered. The prompt came from @rebelsfromstars on Tumblr who said: “Hera and Ezra having a moment and mourning Kanan together”. I am so glad every day I was able to go on the journey with these amazing characters, and I hope we can always remember them.  
> \--  
> The title of this fic comes from lyrics to the song "You're Still You" by Josh Groban.

Ezra sits numbly in Lothal’s swaying grasses. As he runs his fingers through the tall blades, his mind is everywhere and nowhere all at once. He can’t let himself think of what is happening, what _had_ happened. He hasn’t ever let himself think of these possibilities before, so why start now? Not allowing himself to think of anything at all is the best option. _You didn’t prepare me for this, Kanan._

Hera has her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She wishes _the Ghost_ were here. She longs desperately to stand in his cabin. Sit on his bed. Regret, anger and aguish are flowing through her. She clutches the kalikori to her chest so tightly it might break. But it is the only thing keeping her grounded right now. It is the only thing keeping her sane. _I thought there would be more time._

Ezra wishes he could have said something. Said anything. In those final moments. He wishes he wasn’t left completely to his own devices in the Force now. He wishes he wasn’t on an island all by himself. Uncharted territory. He just wants Kanan back. _You didn’t prepare me for this, Kanan._  

Hera doesn’t know what she’s going to do now. She doesn’t know where to turn. How is she supposed to raise their child all by herself? How is she supposed to explain the absence of a father to the child when they are old enough? _I thought there would be more time._

Ezra realizes that he’s lost his _third_ parental figure in just the span of a few years. He wants to scream at the universe, tell it how unjust it is, how unfair it is that a kid like him was stripped of the thing most important to him. He found a family, and now that family is broken in a way that cannot ever be fixed. Not completely. _You didn’t prepare me for this, Kanan._

Hera blames herself. It is her fault. It is her fault that they took this mission, that they came back to Lothal under these circumstances. It is her fault that she put all her efforts into the Rebellion and none into developing her relationship with Kanan. It is her fault for being captured. It is her fault that Ezra is now left defenseless in the Force. _I thought there would be more time._

Ezra blames himself. It is his fault. It is his fault for begging and pleading with Hera that they go back to Lothal. It is his fault that the mission to rescue Hera wasn’t planned well enough. It is his fault for not listening to the warnings in the Force. It is his fault to agree to rendezvous at the fuel depot. _You didn’t prepare me for this, Kanan._

Hera and Ezra find each other. Tucked away in the corners of their minds where they can’t be disturbed. Both of them thinking of everything. Everything that went wrong. Nothing that went right. But they sit together. And even in silence, just having someone there who understands the pain you are feeling is enough. It’s enough, but it won’t ever be enough.

And through the wind, they hear a whisper. _The Force will be with you. Always._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated as always. Thanks for reading <3


End file.
